First, let me just say that I’m having fun watching the USA Yoga Semi-Finals. I love living in the future where things can be live-streamed right into my home. :-)
I got my referral for my second opinion. They can’t get me in until June. I want to punch myself in the face. My chiro ordered x-rays of my pelvis and left hip, just to see, and of course they came back normal.
To appease my chiropractor, I took a couple weeks off of yoga. We were doing a little trial to see if laying low (and icing myself into a popcicle) would help. It didn’t – so I’ve decided to try and get to class as often I can for a while to see if THAT helps. Now, I almost always go on Friday evenings and then try to get there during another weekend class. Because I moved to a busier, even longer-day’d department, I cannot even plan to get to class Monday-Thursday. It’s not impossible, but it’s extremely rare.
And, side note, why is it okay for me to leave early for expensive, doctor mandated physical therapy, but not get out on time so I can go to yoga, which essentially does the same thing (and does not cost my employer anything at all).
From here on out, I am going to go each of the three days I have off per week (Friday-Sunday) and I’m going to really make an effort to get my ass out of work at least once through the week. Now, I have to accept that there will be weeks that this simply isn’t possible (accepting this is very hard for me), but I’m going to really start doing my best. My own trial to see if it helps my back and leg.
I went to class yesterday and today – both Cynthia days, which are always such a treat! It’s hard. There are things I can’t do anymore, things that cause so much pain, and I just get SO PISSED. I’m pissed that the pain is here, pissed that the doctors don’t know why, and I’m pissed that I can’t do anything that requires use of my hip flexors without excruciating pain.
I’m trying to remember to smile, trying to remember to be gentle with myself and just be present and go slow. I get all of that. I’m doing okay with it – not perfect, but okay. The moments of pain and rage come and I try to just breathe. My life has just become this Pain. I try to manage my thoughts, try to manage the pain, avoid the pain, diagnose the pain…
I’ll go to class again tomorrow. I’ll try to get in during the week. I’ll try to get myself to 4-5 classes each week and see how it goes. I won’t be surprised in the least if it just up and disappears with increased yoga.
Now, on to a hot bath. I’m sore!