Back To Our Regular Programming… sort of.

First, let me just say that I’m having fun watching the USA Yoga Semi-Finals.  I love living in the future where things can be live-streamed right into my home.  :-)

I got my referral for my second opinion.  They can’t get me in until June.  I want to punch myself in the face.  My chiro ordered x-rays of my pelvis and left hip, just to see, and of course they came back normal. 

To appease my chiropractor, I took a couple weeks off of yoga.  We were doing a little trial to see if laying low (and icing myself into a popcicle) would help.  It didn’t – so I’ve decided to try and get to class as often I can for a while to see if THAT helps.  Now, I almost always go on Friday evenings and then try to get there during another weekend class.  Because I moved to a busier, even longer-day’d department, I cannot even plan to get to class Monday-Thursday.  It’s not impossible, but it’s extremely rare.

And, side note, why is it okay for me to leave early for expensive, doctor mandated physical therapy, but not get out on time so I can go to yoga, which essentially does the same thing (and does not cost my employer anything at all). 

From here on out, I am going to go each of the three days I have off per week (Friday-Sunday) and I’m going to really make an effort to get my ass out of work at least once through the week.  Now, I have to accept that there will be weeks that this simply isn’t possible (accepting this is very hard for me), but I’m going to really start doing my best.  My own trial to see if it helps my back and leg.

I went to class yesterday and today – both Cynthia days, which are always such a treat!  It’s hard.  There are things I can’t do anymore, things that cause so much pain, and I just get SO PISSED.  I’m pissed that the pain is here, pissed that the doctors don’t know why, and I’m pissed that I can’t do anything that requires use of my hip flexors without excruciating pain.

I’m trying to remember to smile, trying to remember to be gentle with myself and just be present and go slow.  I get all of that.  I’m doing okay with it – not perfect, but okay.  The moments of pain and rage come and I try to just breathe.  My life has just become this Pain.  I try to manage my thoughts, try to manage the pain, avoid the pain, diagnose the pain… 

I’ll go to class again tomorrow.  I’ll try to get in during the week.  I’ll try to get myself to 4-5 classes each week and see how it goes.  I won’t be surprised in the least if it just up and disappears with increased yoga. 

Now, on to a hot bath.  I’m sore!

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8 responses to “Back To Our Regular Programming… sort of.

  1. tackling the problem with yoga is such a great step in itself! I always overthink which classes I am going to go to and am disappointed when I cannot make them. I say, go when you can. Don’t stress yourself about it. Your mind is in a good space – it’ll all work out. I am reading a book by Donna Farhi (yoga teacher) about breathing. Basically if we dedicate so much time to breathing into our more challenging poses during yoga and make progress, then we should really breathe into difficulties outside of life to move forward. That really hit home for me. Less stress. Enjoy the practice!! we’re here with you!

  2. I know this is probably expensive, but I wonder if it might help to schedule a private with one of your yoga teachers, to help design a home practice for you on days you cannot get to the studio. I know it is not the same energy-wise as a studio class, but still. It could bridge the gap for awhile.

    And I bet you will fix this with yoga… sometime soon I must tell you about how yoga cured a (quite painful) knee problem I had for twelve years.

    Living in the future is fun! My two year old daughter watched with me. Every once in awhile she would get down on the floor and attempt a rendition of the postures. Too cute.

    • There’s actually a Bikram CD that’s essentially a full class, with dialogue spoken by Bikram. It’s obviously not as good as a “real” class, but it might be a REALLY good option for days when you literally can’t make it to the studio! And because it’s on CD, you can put it in iTunes and delete the tracks of postures you’re supposed to avoid… it may help alleviate some of the frustration of sitting poses out?

      Most Bikram studios sell them, or you can order online from bikramyoga.com … or if you’re feeling brave enough to share your address with an internet stranger, I’d be happy to burn and post you a copy :)

      • First of all, you are not an internet stranger. You’re an internet PAL. No stranger danger here. :-)

        I do actually have the Bikram CD… never actually use it because (as insane as this sounds) I keep FORGETTING I HAVE IT.

        I am a crazy person.

  3. I will send us both good yoga vibes. I signed up for a 20-class challenge this month and completed day 1 yesterday. I too have about zero motivation to go during the work week. I am hoping to bang out as many classes as possible this week so I can relax more towards the end of the challenge.

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