I’ve been slacking on posting right after class.  Things have been stressful here.  Well, things are ALWAYS stressful here.


Class 39, 4/10/2012:

This was my worst class ever.  I was on the floor by Eagle and only did about 10-15 poses out of the 52.  Things just did not go well at all.  I’m not even sure what the problem was… Things felt fine in there.  Julie was teaching, which means it was a nice, even, straightforward class.  She keeps the room at perfect Bikram temperature, so I know it wasn’t the heat.  But I just couldn’t keep it together.

I felt it coming on during the first breathing exercise.  I couldn’t keep up and my arms were starting to tire.  I actually had to “sit out” a few breaths, which just seems ridiculous.  By Half-Moon my arms felt like they were filled with lead and there was less of a stretching and more of a crunching feeling in my back.  It sucked.  I stood my way through Awkward Pose and by Eagle had to lay down.  I tried getting up for Standing Bow, but was back on the floor for the next pose.

I tried to rally for Standing Separate Leg Stretching (because it always feels so damned good) but couldn’t get through Triangle and pretty much stayed there until the floor series started.  I did a few of the floor poses but never both sets and sometimes not even both sides.  It was a trainwreck.  The only good thing I can say is that I didn’t leave the room.

It was tough.  I felt embarrassed and was really worried about the poor energy I must have been giving off in the room.  I felt guilty.  I felt lazy.  When I apologized profusely to the teacher, she told me that there was no need, and that this experience was a prime example of my ego getting in the way.  That I just need to be okay with what I can do today.

Tough lesson.  Tough class.

Class #40, 4/13/2012:

This was ALSO a difficult class for me.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me this week.  Part of it, I think, is that instead of my usual 3-4 liters of water per day, I’ve only been drinking maybe 1 liter and supplementing with soda (which I NEVER do… but we’ve had a bunch in the fridge at work).  I’m going to have to take better care of myself or I think I’m going to continue having shitty classes.

Then again, I’ve had a particularly difficult week (emotionally) and it’s been harder to stay on top of that stuff.  I’m still struggling, so we’ll see how the coming week goes.

Anyway!  Once again I was absolutely exhausted by the time Eagle came around, and there was still a distinct crunch versus stretch during Half Moon.  WTF?

I was on the floor by the time Standing Head To Knee came around.  I tried for Standing Bow, but lacked the strength and stability in my legs for the job.  I was back on the floor for Balancing Stick, tried Tree Pose but failed at that so back to the floor I went.

Then, during Dead Body Pose, the teacher said to imagine we were in pine boxes with no lids, looking up into the sky but still unable to move.  Yeah… I think that was a mistake.  It got to me BIG TIME.  Couple that with the fact that it was stifling in there and the fans were off during the ENTIRE CLASS and… well, I had to bolt from the room.

Conditions were not prime in there.  I was suffocating.  And I was in a pine box.  It was a little more than I could handle.

So I’m going to try to drink my water over the next few days, keep myself hydrated, eat well,  and then see how things go on Tuesday or Wednesday.  I’m hoping for better days in the hot room.

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