Class #34, 3/17/2012: St Patty’s Day!
I finally made it to class. Such a huge accomplishment. I got there early and chatted with Gerdette. We talked about my absence from a steady practice lately, and how I’ve been holed up in the apartment doing absolutely nothing. She told me to get the hell out of the house first thing in the morning and go for a walk. And I know she’s right.
I went in expecting this class to suck. I ate too late (corned beef and cabbage at 1:30pm before a 4pm class). I haven’t been doing my daily triangles, so my lower back hurts. My upper back is angry about who-knows-what, and I feel generally un-bendy.
I was sneaking breaths through Pranayama, knowing I was being a dirty cheater. But then I went super deep during my Half Moon backbend (which felt AMAZING). So I felt like I’d redeemed myself.
I… have no other memories of this class. But this post is proof that I attended. :-)
Class #35, 3/22/2012:
I’m tired. And I can’t remember anything about this class even though I realllly want to. I can’t even remember who taught. OH! JULIE!!! I hadn’t seen Julie in forever, so it was nice to be in one of her classes again. Julie’s classes are awesome – not because she’s over the top in anyway, because she’s not. She’s quiet. She doesn’t take up a lot of mental space in the room. She’s instructing us in the most gentle and encouraging way, along with the occasional congrats to someone on a job well done (ex: “Beautiful, Amy.”). Always so gentle and quiet. I love it.
I remember now that this class had me challenging some beliefs I’ve had since starting Bikram.
#1: If there are 2 classes back to back, always go to the first class. Going to the second class is like doing yoga in someone else’s hot, wet mouth. It’s disgusting.
#2: You must always be at the door to the studio EXACTLY 30 minutes before class. If it’s 25 minutes before class, don’t even bother going. You won’t get a “good” spot by the door.
So I napped through the 4:30 class that I usually go to. Decided I wasn’t going to go, because the 6:30 class was automatically unacceptable (see rule #1). Then, while I was feeling utterly guilty about not having gone to yoga, 6pm came and I decided to furiously put on my clothes and just get in the car. I’m only 3-4 minutes from the studio, so i wasn’t going to be far from rule #2, but it still was causing me some anxiety. But I went. And I got a good spot. And all was well.
I know how ridiculous these rules are, but they became habit. I’m hoping make new expectations for myself regarding my practice.
Class #36, 3/24/2012:
Somehow I managed to make it to a 9:30am class on a Saturday. This NEVER happens. It was awesome. AND, it was a violation of Rule #1. Gerdette was teaching and it’s always so good to see her. I was having some physical issues during this class due to a nasty burn on my leg (stupid, rookie, motorcycle burn from the hot pipes) and so it’s what I was thinking about the entire time. Things were uncomfortable.
The most memorable part of the whole class was that I got super close to a 90 degree back bend during Half Moon!!! Something just “gave” and I could finally feel my face nearly upside down with my arms pointing firmly at the wall. It was BONKERS. Having a 90 degree backbend is one of my goals (and one I’ve been pretty sure I’ll attain) so it felt really good to be almost there.
It’s crazy to think about how far I’ve come, just in that one simple pose. I remember pointing straight up to the ceiling back in December. And I remember in January how excited I was to finally see the wall behind me instead of just the ceiling tiles. Then moving farther, so that my fingers were pointing juuuuuust at the place where the ceiling meets the wall. And now I’m getting close to 90. I know that every day is different, and that it will likely be a long time before I’m able to bend like that consistently… but it still feels so good – both physically and emotionally.
So much good.
So. Much. Good.