It just gets in the way sometimes and that annoys me. I’m struck by how busy I’ve been over the last 10 days – so busy that I haven’t been in the hot room for that many days – and how stressed out I’ve felt. Sure, lots has happened this past week that’s been emotionally straining and difficult in general, but I’m starting to wonder just how this yoga interacts with my stress. Mainly I’m wondering if I’m more stressed than I normally would be if I’d been able to get to yoga a few times this week. Would I have been able to better handle some stressful situations this week if I’d made the extra 90 minutes to take care of my body, brain and spirit?
I’m thinking the answer is yes.
This past week has sucked. Distress in my heart, difficult arguments with friends, and particularly tough days at work have made me an absolute wreck. My back hurts, my neck is made of stone and my carpal tunnel syndrome is acting up. My spirit feels broken, I’m having nightmares about my ex and it’s all coming together to make me feel exhausted and somewhat insane. I’m slipping my way back to that feeling of not being able to handle what life fast-pitches right at my face. I’m not capable. I’m not strong enough. I’m not equipped. And I’m so, so tired.
My plan is to get back to the yoga tomorrow after work. I’ll be exhausted. I won’t want to go. My insides will be telling me just to form a puddle of goo on the couch and let it all go. Somehow I am going to have to convince myself, after another long day, to put on skimpy clothes (which is a challenge in and of itself) and go kill myself in a hot room where they make you do really tiring and difficult things.
We can do this.