I’ve been thinking about my last class and all the little things I wanted to say. A lot of time I’ll be in class, realize something about a pose (or how I’m doing it, or a victory) and think “I wish I could bring in a paper and pencil to class so I will remember to blog about this later.” Of course, that sorta takes the “now” out of the yoga. I get that. Still, I know there’s always so much more that I want to say.
And now, I’m writing this, and have completely forgotten what it was I was going to post.
… … thinking … …
OH! CAMEL! Yes, I wanted to say that in Friday night’s class, Joanne saw me almost lose myself in dizziness trying to go into camel. I wobbled and completely fell forward onto my hands – and that happens all the time for me. I did the second set just fine, but went super slow and that was a REVELATION for me. Go slow. There’s no hurry to get into the pose. Slow down, prepare emotionally, remain in control, and let the pose happen. Sheesh.
Another thing: Joanne was talking about how there are people who come in and kill themselves and people who come in and pamper themselves. I’m wondering where I fall in that spectrum. Probably more towards the pampering side, though to me it feels like I’m KILLING myself. I don’t know where my edge is. I’m not an athletic person, so I don’t really know what I’m capable of. And because I’m not competitive in any way, I don’t have that drive to be the very best in the room every single time. These poses are still scary to me in some fashion and I do probably err on the side of caution. I probably could start doing a little more, I just don’t know where yet.
THEN (because I am a crazy person) I started freaking about about how the teachers perceive me. Do they think I’m just pampering myself? Am I one of the lazy ones? Do I drink too much water? Do I rest too much? IS IT BECAUSE I PUT ICE IN MY WATER?
People, this is why I take anti-anxiety meds. Good grief.
I bonded with a lady Friday night. It was her 2nd class ever and she just wasn’t sure about it (yet, she was THERE). I told her after class that she did a PERFECT triangle (because she did) and I think it made her a little giddy. She was feeling good and I think she’ll come back. Maybe I’ll see her there tomorrow.
Which reminds me. Back is still tender. Massage therapist couldn’t elicit that pain I was having, so I’m wondering if it was ever muscular in nature. It FELT like it was deep inside. So I’m hesitant about going to yoga, but don’t want to lose any ground. Those 10 days off set me back in a huge way and I want to keep moving forward. I don’t know enough about this yoga yet (or this injury) to know how to take care of myself while continuing to do the poses. Food for thought.
More later. Bedtime!